One Love (1-0)

Dear Corporate Friend,

I’ve been a dispute manager for years now. However, I am not sure if I will be giving you this advise based on my work experience or if I’ve always been like this. Nevertheless...the end result is the same. You need to learn how to win a dispute. Not at work...but in general, in life.

You just have to. It’s mandatory. Because a dispute is as black and white as it gets. You are either the winner or the loser.

Ever since I was in school, I always knew I didn’t want to compromise. Not when I was right. We do, of course, experience multiple moments in life when a compromise is the best solution and that is perfect. However, this is not what I mean. I am talking about those moments when you are 100% sure an injustice is happening to you.

THAT is the moment when we should never compromise and always demand fair treatment.

I remember growing up, my father once grounded me for something I had not done. I tried over and over to explain his impression was not true. (He thought I was wearing make up and I was not...silly...i know) Knowing I was 100% right, I just stood there while my father got more and more upset because, in his view, I didn’t want to admit my „fault”. We started at 1 week and then the punishment grew and grew and grew. He kept saying that if I don’t admit, it will continue to grow. And I kept saying that I didn’t care how much it grows because I did nothing wrong.

That’s when I knew I was going to be a great disputes manager.

Kidding...that’s just when I got a month of "no TV" :(

Now let’s not get discouraged. In real life nobody will take away your TV rights. Having this said, let’s see how you can win or lose a dispute.

Losing a dispute

This one is very simple and quick so I’m going to start with it. Just do nothing. In life we tend to avoid conflict and difficult conversations. I am not perfect either. I went through many situations when I was supposed to do something but I was too afraid or too lazy.

I was once involved in a very bad car accident. The other driver who hit me from behind, bribed the police in front of me. I even snapped a photo of the act while it was happening, in front of an ATM. The resolution was in his favor. They completely changed the real story. Aside from losing my car as total damage, my insurance also paid for the guy’s car. All while he was publicly bragging that he was going 220km/h at night. Even the police chief, to which I showed the photos and explained the situation, said I was right, but I did....nothing. I was too scared the guy would track me down and hurt me (he seemed a bit shady to be honest). So I lost. Terrible feeling.

Now let’s go to a happier place:

Winning a dispute

This one is also easier than you’d think: just don’t let go. Never give up. Keep on insisting to explain and present your version of the events and at some point, someone will hear you out and solve your issue.

Tano, my childhood boxer puppy knew this very well. He would hold on to a slipper and never let go no matter what you tried. I would pull, flip, drop, crash him to the ground and still nothing. I raised him to the air in a pirouette. He was not even touching the ground any longer. He did not let go. At some point I got bored and just left him with the slipper. And no, he would still not let go. Maybe after 5 minutes when he was sure nobody was coming back to steal his trophy.

This is your guideline. Be like him. Never let go.

I can give you so many examples here but especially in relation to a company, if you push the right buttons, they will eventually manage and resolve your dispute...or maybe even offer you a compensation for your troubles.

Imagine that I was rejected a refund for a faulty vacuum cleaner, citing the reason of „dust traces being identified in it”. Of course, I kept raising dispute after dispute until, 6 months later, I finally got my refund. Maybe you would tend to think that it’s just not worth it and you will drop it and just buy a new vacuum. Sure, that’s an option. But why would you do that when it’s not your mistake? Why would you lose those hard worked 50$ and, instead, fill the pockets of the big corporations with...yet another 50$?

So, document your claim, have proof, evidence, logical explanations for every aspect and then keep disputing until you get what is rightfully yours.

You got this!

From my cubicle to yours,

The D.